Love and Support Go a Long Way

Saving a daughter from mental illness

By Mandy Catoe

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Sometimes a mother just knows something is wrong.
“It was like the world stood still in that moment,” Lena Wallace said, recalling two days in June 2015.
Her daughter, 33-year-old Amanda Wallace, was not answering her phone. She had a history of depression and was 1,200 miles away in Austin, Texas.
Lena finally called Amanda’s best friend in Austin, who ran to check on her. After several minutes of loud door-banging, Amanda answered. She was in a very dark place.
“My plan was to take my gun and go out behind my apartment complex into the woods and blow my head off,” she recalled recently. “Seriously, that was my plan. I had even written out a goodbye letter.”
Amanda’s parents flew to Austin that day, rented a car and a U-Haul trailer there and brought their daughter home to Lancaster.
It was the beginning of a frustrating journey through South Carolina’s underfunded mental health system, which ranks 43rd-worst among the states.
After a week in a hospital, Amanda faced months-long waiting lists for state mental-health programs. That’s when the Wallaces learned about the nonprofit National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).
Amanda says NAMI support groups were a vital part of her recovery.
“Meeting people going through the exact same thing will make you feel less alone,” she says.
“I just threw myself into the support groups,” Lena recalls. “That was my lifeline. I could say anything there, and my feelings were validated.”
In less than a year, Amanda got back on her feet. She lives in Charlotte now and works as a web designer and graphic artist. She has a supportive boyfriend, and her dogs give her much joy.
She glows when she talks about life now. She manages her illness with medication and therapy and has structured her work to support her recovery. And she no longer has that gun.
“Love and support go a very long way,” Amanda said.
She found a healthy balance through her NAMI connections. Her mom found a cause to champion. Lena worked hard on bringing NAMI to Lancaster for the first time, and it started local meetings in December.

 

Early troubles
Amanda was born and raised in Lancaster to Lena and William Wallace, who own Wallace Construction. She has an older sister.
“Amanda was a very shy child,” Lena said. “We thought it was just her personality, but looking back at it, I think she was depressed.”
When Amanda was 14, she was rebellious and unhappy.
“We sought help, but her pediatrician dismissed it,” Lena said. “That was 20 years ago.”
Lena knew it was more than teenage angst and persisted in finding relief for Amanda. At The Saluda Center in Rock Hill, Amanda was diagnosed with depression. She was prescribed Paxil to balance her brain chemistry.
Amanda graduated from Buford High School in 2000 and headed to USC in Columbia to study graphic arts. She shunned counseling, but saw her doctor periodically to get medication.
She graduated in 2004 and for the next 11 years, she worked in Cincinnati, Los Angeles and Austin, Texas. Growing up, she had told her mom that she wanted to live in a big city far from Lancaster.
When Amanda returned home to visit, she was often tired, slept a lot and secluded herself in her room.
“She struggled with work and deadlines,” her mother recalls, “but didn’t want us to know how bad it was.”
During the times Amanda was far from home, her mom was hearing stories about adult children of friends who were falling through the cracks of the mental health system. One friend’s 24-year-old son hanged himself.


Crisis in Austin
Amanda enjoyed her longest stretch of stability in Austin. She managed her depression with medication and therapy, but long work hours began to wear her down.
As she felt her grip loosening, her anxiety skyrocketed. She found herself exhausted and immobilized by the depression.
She was laid off from her job, and her bills were piling up. She had just turned 33.
“I didn’t want to ask my parents for help,” Amanda recalls. “Asking for help and moving back home meant that I was a failure.”
The first couple of months after Amanda returned to Lancaster were hard. Her mother searched for help her uninsured daughter, who was being sucked further and further into depression.
She reached out to Catawba Mental Health, the state-funded regional outpatient facility, but was told there was a three-month waiting list. Amanda needed immediate attention.
“Someone suggested we take her to a hospital because they can’t turn you down,” Lena said.
Amanda was admitted to the Behavioral Unit of Charlotte’s Presbyterian Medical Center. She was diagnosed with anxiety and Bipolar Type 2, which is characterized by frequent depressive periods and shorter intervals of well-being or hypomania.
The hospital stabilized and medicated her, and sent her home with a referral to Catawba Mental Health, which still had its waiting list.
The next few months were challenging for the Wallace family. Amanda was back in her childhood home, feeling like a failure despite a successful 10-year career as a graphic artist and web designer.
Everyone was trying to adjust. Her mom was balancing Amanda’s care with running the family business. Amanda’s two dogs were trying to get along with her parents’ two dogs.
“Everyone walked on eggshells, afraid to say anything,” Lena said.

‘Fog began lifting’
Lena found comfort and guidance in NAMI support groups. She traveled to Rock Hill to attend the closest available meetings. She reached out to the Piedmont NAMI branch president, Betsy O’Brien, who recommended she find Amanda a therapist and a psychiatrist.
The support of her family, medication and therapy enabled Amanda to move into her parents’ rental property in October 2015.
Life continued to improve. She began doing freelance graphic and web design work. She met Miguel Donneys and fell in love. In May 2016, they moved into an apartment in Charlotte’s Steele Creek neighborhood.
Mother and daughter attended a NAMI conference in Columbia last August and learned of a cutting-edge technology called Genomind that analyzes the patient’s DNA to recommend which medications might be most effective.
“Within a week of being prescribed the Genomind-recommended medication, the fog began lifting,” Amanda says.
She now handles her illness by attending weekly hypnotherapy sessions, working out and using breath control to calm herself during anxious moments.
“I’ve also found that eating healthier and drinking more water has helped my mental well being,” she said.

Help from NAMI
NAMI made such a difference for the Wallace family that Lena spearheaded the movement to bring the support groups to Lancaster. She is now a trained support group facilitator and educator.
NAMI’s support groups are similar in structure to Alcoholics Anonymous and Alanon. AA is for the alcoholic, while Alanon is for the alcoholic’s loved ones.
The volunteer-run NAMI offers free, confidential support groups. It also provides free education sessions to law enforcement, schools and civic groups.
NAMI was founded in 1977 and now has more than 1,000 chapters across the United States. One of its major goals is to remove the stigma of mental illness, making it easier for those needing help to seek it. NAMI believes mental illness is a biological disease in need of treatment just like diabetes or cancer.
NAMI Connections and Family Support groups meet at 6:15 p.m. the first Monday and third Thursday each month at First Presbyterian Church, 700 North Main St., Lancaster. For more information, Lena Wallace can be reached at (803) 283-7437.
Indian Land offers NAMI groups for family, friends and caregivers at 7 p.m. the first Thursday of each month at Transformation Church, 8978 Charlotte Highway, Indian Land. For more information, call Sue Korn at (704) 575-5928.
“NAMI is the local champion for people with mental illness in our communities,” said Dan Anderson, director of business development at Rebound Behavioral Health. “They don’t provide treatment, but do provide education and support.”
South Carolina is ranked 43rd nationally for access to mental health services, according to Mental Health America. The state has very few inpatient centers. It has 17 outpatient mental health centers including Catawba Mental Health, which serves Lancaster, Chester and York counties.
Amanda said the education her parents received through NAMI has made a huge difference in their lives.
“My parents were the light in my very, very dark existence,” Amanda said. “They kept me going, and I’m forever grateful for them.”

Follow Reporter Mandy Catoe on Twitter @MandyCatoeTLN or contact her at (803) 283-1152.