Addiction

From Feb 3, 2014


I found myself awake at 3 a.m. last night tossing and turning with a troubled heart.  As bad as it was, it wasn't because of the super bowl.  It was because of the heartless, ignorant and shameful things being said about Philip Seymour Hoffman and the way he died.

Do you think he wanted to die with a needle in his arm?  Do you think he wanted to be found in his underwear on the floor?  Do you think he wanted us to be talking about that today?  Yes, one day he chose to use, but his using became a prison.  Then using became necessary for him to function and almost feel normal.  t wasn't moral failure. It was addiction. He could not break free. Except in that final release.  That final lonely sad moment.

Dr. Patrick MacAfee said the following about the addict’s liberation, “Drug use traps the addict in a place of hopelessness. But when the lie of maintaining the addiction becomes more painful than the using, the addict faces himself and his use. It is this inescapable accountability that is both powerful and hopeful when he comes face-to-face with his reality. This incomprehensible demoralization is the dark before the dawn, the place where the addict chooses between life and death – the place where he can liberate himself.”

Libby Cataldi, author of 'Stay Close: A Mother's Story of Her Son's Addiction' said, "The addict is trapped inside the prison of addiction. What was once a party becomes his personal hell. I have great respect for those who are able to fight this battle and find their recovery. Peace and wisdom are on the other side."

Who knows what demons Hoffman was trying to silence within his soul?  He fell short of finding the skills in recovery.  His dawn never came.  Some of the hateful comments I have seen would shame me back to dark alleys to find a release.  Addiction is addiction whether the drugs are bought in a back alley in a dirty brown bag or at the corner CVS and carried in a little pristine white bag. Ever notice pharmaceutical drug reps and drug dealers drive similar cars and dress in similar fashion? Addicts look like Gia (from Gia) and addicts look like Violet Weston from August: Osage County. Some addicts look homeless. Some look just like me. And some like you.  I have known addicts and loved addicts. Addicts are among us and some hide it as long as they can.  Many died from it and we never knew.  Careful because what you say can keep them locked in their own hell.

Love leaves an open door.  Hope leaves an open door.  I have seen some break free and some not.  All of them are human.  Most of them are loving and beautiful and creative.  Shame keeps them down.  Forgiveness and understanding help turn the key to their breaking free.

Addiction is the most selfish path I have ever seen.  The addict only thinks of himself during his active addiction.  Try to remember the addict is human and deserves our love.  Remember them and not the ravaged shell you see before you.  Every time we look away and avoid eye contact, we rob ourselves and them a chance of redemption.  If we are not here for each other, then why are we here?
It's a thin line between the categories of use/abuse/addiction.  If love the sinner, hate the sin ever applies, it does here.  I encourage anyone struggling with a loved one's addiction to read Libby Cataldi's book "Stay Close."  She captured the balance of tough love and love.  Her son is recovering. Also, go to Alanon.  And if you are caught in someone else's web of addiction and feel it has taken your freedom, read anything by Melody Beattie.   My hat is off to my friend, Deirdre Ballard Cato and her post is attached to this one.  Thanks for offering hope and not judgment.  I can only go back to what I was taught as a child - "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.  Maybe that is why facebook doesn't have a "dislike" button.  Facebook creator Mark Zuckerman is a little ahead of the game.

From Deirdre Ballard Cato :  Too many deaths. If you are battling addiction, seek help. We have 2 free inpatient facilities at Vocational Rehabilitation of South Carolina. Contact your closest VR office for more information. If you need immediate detox, contact a local facility. In our area, that would be Keystone of Rock Hill. 803-324-0404 The number to VR in Lancaster is 803-285-6909.
Dede Deirdre Ballard Cato

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Hx4RsCfL_fA&autoplay=1