Mandy Catoe
mcatoe@thelancasternews.com
On the first Tuesday of every month, grieving parents gather to talk, listen and heal from the loss of their children.Janice Steele unexpectedly lost her 43-year-old daughter, Terri Ledbetter, two years ago this month. The loss devastated Steele, who wrestled daily with paralyzing pain.
"Right before last Christmas, it just hit me that there were other people going through pain just like me, and I thought: 'We can help each other,'" Steele said.
In the meetings, parents talk freely about their children who have died.
"Parents who haven't lost a child struggle to understand and often feel uncomfortable when we bring up our children who have died," Steele said. "Here, I am free to talk about Terri in a group of people who understand."
The group began meeting in February and has met every month since. The group is open and people can join at any time. Steele stresses that no one has to talk or share. Light refreshments are served following each hour-long meeting. The first 15 minutes of the group is informative with topics such as grief, coping skills and special memories.
Steele said it's a lifelong journey of grief when you lose a child.
"It's a journey we never wanted to be on and there is an instant bond between parents who have lost a child," she said. "When we travel it together, we can help each other along the way."
About 10 people meet to share and heal in a safe space. Steele is hoping it will grow so more bereaved parents will find relief.
Terry Robinson's daughter, Crystal Fields, died last May 25 at age 48 from a pulmonary embolism. Robinson said Fields had just attended her son's baccalaureate service on Sunday before his upcoming graduation scheduled for the next Friday. Fields died on Wednesday.
"I was a little apprehensive about attending group at first, but it has meant so much to me," Robinson said. "I was very much alone in my grief before this group. I am so happy Janice had the foresight to start this."
Fields' other daughter, Lisa Phillips, said the group has been good for her mom.
"She has found a group of people on this same sad journey, and I think they are helping each other," Phillips said.
For a special tribute, parents hold special events to honor the child's birthday or the anniversary of their death.
This past Tuesday, Robinson released balloons in honor of her daughter. Fields' family attended, including her parents Hazel and Terry Robinson, her son Adam Fields and sister Lisa Phillips.
Debbie Dunn's only child, Brad Dunn, died from a heart attack at age 37 on Sept. 19, 2014. Dunn said healing has been a process filled with counseling, friends and faith.
"This group has been a saving grace," she said. "We can all just sit and listen or pour our hearts out. It's just a wonderful thing for those of us who have experienced this loss. You don't feel alone."
Dunn honored her son this past February for his birthday.
"On the special day, you do what makes your soul feel better," she said.
For her it was reading her son's favorite poem, "The Road Less Travelled," and sharing a memory that still makes her laugh. "We all went fishing one day and Brad caught a turtle," she said.
Any grieving parent is welcome to attend the groups held the first Tuesday of each month at 7 p.m. at Immanuel Baptist Church in the office building. For more information, call Janice Steele at (803) 285-3609 or (803) 804-9120 or the church office at (803) 283-8459.
A special fundraiser will be held today at 7 p.m. at Immanuel Baptist Church in Terri Ledbetter's memory. The money will be used to build a handicap-accessible picnic shelter at the Chester-Lancaster Board of Disabilities on Camp Creek Road. King's Cause will provide special music. Tickets are $12.
Follow Reporter Mandy Catoe on Twitter @MandyCatoeTLN or
contact her at (803) 283-1152.
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